Tu BiShvat – blog post by Rabbi Karen Soria

It is difficult to believe that in Israel the ground is thawing and the tree sap is rising. While (so far) this winter has not been as cold or snowy as last, our season is a long way from spring. And yet, every year, we tie ourselves again to the calendar in Israel with Tu BiShvat, the New Year for trees.
Preparing the Seder for the festival, I thought a great deal about similarities and differences with the Pesach Seder. The number four is an easy parallel, with four cups of the fruit of the vine at each, but the four children was the image that intrigued me.
Do you know only four kinds of children? I know many kinds – and each of them incorporates many kinds of traits. I know no children that are only ‘wise, wicked, simple, or silent.’ Every one I know combines those traits, depending on situation and circumstances (plus many others). And so, I put a selection of more than one child’s voice in our Temple Shalom Seder.
Of course, we are all called “b’nai Israel – the Children of Israel” throughout our Scripture, TaNaKh, because we all are, in some ways, always children. Are not we all wise in some things, and so ignorant in others that we are silent? Do we not all have that urge on occasion (some more frequently than others) to be the troublemaker, the one who either asks the impossible questions or the one who likes to ‘stir the pot’ and get a rise out of someone? Aren’t we all ‘simple’ about some things, wanting only a succinct or even cursory answer, or altogether leaving the issue in the “too hard box”? By putting several additional voices in our TuBiShvat Seder, I wanted to emphasize that there are, and we each have, many voices.
Along with the new growth of trees in Israel and the promise of spring, may this time of waiting hopefully for it to arrive in our more wintery climes be a time when we listen to our innermost voice, treasure it, and ready ourselves for it bursting forth with new buds and blossoms!

Grieving the Attacks in France by Rabbi Karen Soria

Writing of the Jewish take on death and mourning in her book Living a Jewish Life, Anita Diamant explains Pirkei Avot 4:23a from the Talmud: “Do not comfort the bereaved with their dead still before them” to mean [it is] ‘Inappropriate to offer words of condolence to mourners until after the funeral.’ I would clarify that indeed, even before the funeral, comfort and condolence are greatly needed – but of a different quality than after the funeral. When our dead lie literally ‘before our eyes,’ certain things necessarily come first; and our emotions are often in turmoil and we ourselves in shock.

I know that after last week’s events in France – the slaughter at Charlie Hebdo; the targeting, hostage-taking and murder of Jews in two groceries; the aftermath of mosques being fire-bombed; and Boko Harum’s slaughter of thousands in Nigeria – I am still in shock. And my emotions are in a tumult.

Just Thursday evening I was at Government House in Winnipeg, as Rabbi Neal and Carol Rose were honoured with the Lieutenant Governor’s Award for the Advancement of Interreligious Understanding. The next night, just before Shabbat services, I was at Central Mosque for an evening of “sharing, caring and healing…standing in solidarity against violence and sharing traditions of mercy and compassion.” Other Jews were there, Christians from numerous denominations, Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Moslems, humanists and atheists.

I think of all that has happened – and I turn to Jewish teaching for comfort and perspective.

In the Torah portion for last week, we meet a man who was born under a death sentence – all male babies were to be killed. He too was from a disenfranchised immigrant group, and he was sent out from his birth family and adopted at three months – he grew up essentially fatherless. As a young man, he went out and murdered a man – probably thought he could get away with it – until he was spotted and accused of murder. Then he did what many another has done – he ran; he went on the lam to Midian, where he seems to settle down after first getting in a tiff with the resident shepherds. He marries, goes into his father-in-law’s business of shepherding. And then, one day while he’s out, he sees a bush burning, and he watches it until he is sure that it is not burning up.

I have a firefighter friend who says, “I would have doused that sucker!” But Moses waits, watches, listens. That scene has always struck me, because I am much more impatient. But Moses isn’t: he waits, watches, and listens until he knows that the bush is not being consumed and until he hears a voice.

There are still people listening: for the past several months, an interfaith group has met every Tuesday for 15-20 minutes of silence. The leadership is shared, as one or another introduces the silence with 1-2 minutes of words. Then quiet: waiting, listening, becoming aware.

What do we need to be aware of in the aftermath of the events in France? My colleagues discussed their ideas on line; thoughts included parallels with Pharaoh as personifying hate or anti-Semitism or complacency. Others reminded us of the phrase “And there arose a new king who knew not Joseph” – perhaps Joseph could represent Western civilization or the Jewish people. Rabbi Emma Gottlieb made a parallel with Shifrah and Puah (the midwives who defied Pharaoh’s order to kill the Jewish baby boys), asking ‘who will be France’s courageous midwives?

All earnest thoughts, worthy of exploring. But I return to the need for comfort, even with our dead before our eyes. What exactly though?

And then I read these words, from Hari Kunzru in The Guardian, http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/08/charlie-hedbo-collusion-terror-jihadi-twisted-logic :

Those of us who want to short-circuit the logic of confrontation have our work cut out….Mumblings about “respect” and “avoiding giving offence” seem cowardly and dishonourable. And compromise with the jihadi position is meaningless: the jihadi is absolute because otherwise he is nothing. Without the childish simplicity of binary logic, all his power and glamour leak away, and he becomes just another lost boy….

But refusing to compromise with the jihadi does not mean becoming his mirror. When I’m stupid enough to switch on cable news here in New York, the optics are different but I hear…the same parochialism, the same arrogance, the same atavistic lust for violence, the same pathetic need for good guys and bad guys, to be on the winning team.

If I have anything hopeful or uplifting to contribute, this is it – that anyone who tries to fit the world into binaries is necessarily fragile. The slightest hint of complexity, and their brittle self-identity may shatter. To refuse the jihadi’s logic of escalation without becoming mired in grubby pleading, we have to say – and keep on saying, keep on writing with our pens that are supposedly so much mightier than their swords – that life is not so simple, that our many problems do not have single, total solutions, that utopia is a dead place, without life or change, without air.

Our dead are still before our eyes, but this is comfort and condolence to me: that life is not simple but incredibly complex, that we are stronger when we integrate life’s complexity into our understanding, that we cannot divide the world neatly into ‘good guys and bad guys,’ and that no single solution answers everything.

This is my solace: we do not need utopia, but we do need each other.

Happy New Year and vacation – by Rabbi Karen Soria

Happy New Year and vacation-week movies! Which ones have you seen? I managed to see the third installment in The Hobbit trilogy and have decided it is definitely time to read the entire Lord of the Rings books again.

But the movie I haven’t seen yet is the one on my mind: Into the Woods. I love the stage show, am a bit hesitant about Disney’s handling of the story, and will nevertheless see it. Just not yet.

There is a song in Into the Woods that is particularly poignant at this time of starting a new year; as one character sings about an unexpected experience she has just had, she expresses, very simply and eloquently, some ideas about memory. For the experience, she realizes, was just a ‘moment’ and the entirety of our lives are comprised of just that – moments. And yet, ‘if life were only moments, we’d never know we had one.’

This is the delicate balance that a new year (be it secular, Jewish, fiscal, etc.) calls to mind: that our lives are indeed only moments – that the present moment is a gift (“that’s why it’s called the present”) – but that somehow we make a whole, however broken or whole, out of those moments.

Remember 2014. Cherish the good moments. Relinquish the bad ones. Put them together into your memories so that they will help you find the 2015 you are looking for. We may indeed have to all go ‘into the woods’ of darkness and challenge at times, but we don’t have to go alone, or defenceless.

May we all have a happy, healthy, and peaceful New Year!

Candles, Hanukkiyah, Dreidels, Gelt – blog post Dec. 2014 by Rabbi Karen Soria

  • Candles
  • Hanukkiyah
  • Dreidels
  • Gelt

 

Yup ~ I must be all ready for Hanukkah! Oh wait ~ I didn’t include reading the story again.

But what story shall I read or tell? The truth is, we know that the beginnings of Hanukkah lie in internecine conflict, as the reigning Seleucids (the governing powers in the East, following the division of Alexander the Great’s empire after his death) found ready supporters among the Jews of the land of Israel. Political intrigue, brother against brother, murder – the real Hanukkah story has it all. Over the past number of years, historians have put the whole torrid story together from the Books of the Maccabees, Josephus’s writings, and historical documents from the time from other nations.

Yet that is not the story we tell. We tell the story of the cruse of oil, found in the desecrated Temple in Jerusalem, that wondrously burned for 8 days, until new oil could be prepared for the 7-branched menorah there – a story we first read about in the Talmud, some 400 years or so after the events in question.

What gives?

Certainly by a century after events, the powerful Roman Empire brooked no opening for rebellion – although the Jews (and some others) would try. By the time of the Talmud, we had transformed our national dreams and memories into prayers and hopes for the time of redemption. It simply made no sense to glorify a war with its limited success. And so, Hanukkah became about the miracle of the oil.

The truth is, both stories have important things to teach us. Perhaps in these times of fundamentalism, when we see in both religious and secular worlds the violence and brutality that are visited on those seen as different in any way, we should study the historical story again, as a cautionary tale of the destruction that happens when we forget we are all one human family ~ no matter our race, gender, religion, sex, politics, nationality, etc. One human family.

‘Hanukkah’ comes from the Hebrew root meaning ‘education’ and ‘dedication.’ Couldn’t those ideas combined bring some light into our world?

 

  • Remembering and telling the story

Thank a Jewish Mother: Poppy Remembrance on Remembrance Day by Rabbi Karen Soria

Those poppies we wear for Remembrance Day? Without the incredible work of Lillian Freiman, we would only read about them in John McCrae’s poem, “In Flanders Field.”

Freiman helped found the Royal Canadian Legion and was its first female honourary lifemember. She held leadership roles in the Canadian Institue for the Blind, the Red Cross Society, Canadian Hadassah-WIZO, the Amputations Association of Great War Veterans of Canada, the Salvation Army, Girl Guides of Canada, the Big Sister’s Association, the YMCA, the Joan of Arc Society, and more. The Mayor of Ottawa selected her to organize a 1500-volunteer relief effort during the flu epidemic of 1918. Lillian Freiman was the first Jewish-Canadian honoured as an officer of the Order of the British Empire; King George V presented it to her on New Year’s Day, 1934, for her work with war veterans.

In 1921, the first Canadian poppies were made in her living room; she had helped to establish the Vetcraft Shops, where returning servicemen made furniture and toys in 1919, and in 1923 the Vetcraft Shops took over the poppy-making.

At her funeral in 1940, red poppies covered her coffin and a Royal Canadian Legion honour guard attended (as did Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King, innumerable luminaries of the day, and many of the 151 Ukrainian war orphans she had rescued).

On December 29, 1941 Major-General L.F. LaFleche, Associate Deputy Minister of National War Services, unveiled a tablet at Trafalgar House inscribed: “In loving memory and to the honour of Mrs. A.J. (Lillian) Freiman, OBE, national officer and general convener in Ottawa of Canadian Legion Poppy Day. The friend of all soldiers and dependents who, in public and in private gave generous, warm-hearted and always effectual service and assistance in their cause from the days of 1914-18 to the day of her passing November 2nd, 1940.”

Any military officer or guest is welcome in her home to this day – it is now the Army Officers’ Mess in Ottawa.

As you wear your poppy, remember the dreams and sacrifices of those who did and do serve in the Canadian Armed Forces, as well as the vision, generosity, and accomplishments of one Jewish woman, Lillian Freiman, OBE. And thank a Jewish mother.

An old man sits with breathing tube by Rabbi Karen Soria

A picture: an old man sits with breathing tube, confined to a wheelchair, slowly dying of congestive heart failure, accused of child molestation over 50 years ago. Inimai M. Chettair, http://www.brennancenter.org/expert/inimai-m-chettiar at New York University School of Law, comments, “Incarceration is the most extreme punishment. And more punishment doesn’t mean more justice.”

Think about that: “…more punishment doesn’t mean more justice.” Isn’t that how we imagine justice ‘being served,’ namely, through punishment? If he is correct, then what constitutes justice? “Tzedek tzedek tirdof” – “Justice justice you shall pursue” (Dt. 16:20) Scripture orders us. If not through punishment, then how do we achieve justice – or at least pursue it?

Another image:  a Nazi war criminal lives out his last days in Germany, deported from the United States, subsisting on his Social Security pension. This week The Associated Press broke the story that millions of dollars in Social Security benefits have been and are being paid to veterans of the SS Death’s Head battalions, enabling them to survive quite comfortably upon their return to Germany or Austria. http://bigstory.ap.org/article/eb4a5ff7c40e49bcb310b4ca77694795/expelled-nazis-paid-millions-social-security and http://www.poynter.org/latest-news/mediawire/277279/how-the-ap-busted-nazi-suspects-receiving-social-security-payments/ This was not a bureaucratic mistake, but the Justice Department’s idea to save itself the cost and time of prosecutions. Perhaps more punishment doesn’t necessarily mean more justice, but where is the justice in ‘deportation with a lifetime paycheque?’

As the Canadian Museum of Human Rights prepares to open, as Winnipeg faces the future with a new mayor, and as the city and province continue to work on reconciliation and truth in the wake of generations traumatized by the residential schools, we could consider another translation for ‘tzedek’ – righteousness. What would that look like?

Of Water and Women by Rabbi Karen Soria

Does it pass the ‘would you want this as a headline on the first page of the newspaper?’ test? Does it pass the ‘would you want your mother to know this?’ test? Does it pass the ‘appearance’ test? If the answer to all three is ‘yes,’ then it (whatever it is) may be all right; but Rabbi Barry Freundel’s activities overseeing the mikveh and conversion process pass none of those tests. http://www.jta.org/2014/10/21/default/op-ed-what-the-freundel-scandal-says-about-orthodoxy-1

Anger, betrayal, humiliation, violation ~ to name just a few of the emotions that the revelations and allegations of his setting up recording equipment in the changing room of the mikveh have raised. Those who hold the most power over our lives – whether by love or authority – are those who have the power to betray us on the deepest level. If the mikveh is a “women’s commandment” as it has been promoted to be, then men should not be in control of it. Rabbi Elyse Goldstein has argued eloquently for a new approach to the mikveh http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/take-back-the-waters/ .

But back to that ‘appearance’ test. Judaism has a concept called ‘ma’arit ayin’ – what something looks like. Really, perhaps there is a need for a digital clock in the changing room. Perhaps there is a need to security cameras. But need has to be weighed against the appearance. And the supervising rabbi setting up and removing digital equipment is ‘ma’arit ayin.’ It just looks bad, even before the investigation concludes, before his day in court.

I know ~ we all make mistakes ~ but if we kept those three questions in mind and made the ‘appearance’ test part of our daily lives, we could save ourselves a whole lot of tsures, or trouble. Pity Rabbi Freundel didn’t think about ‘ma’arit ayin.’

Torah Reflections – Shabbat Bereshit

Stop! Before we completely forget our Rosh HaShanah through Yom Kippur through Sukkot through Simchat Torah journey, join me in one final (for this year) reflection.

The title of the story “If Not Higher” reminds us that through the High Holydays, we become more true to our spiritual selves. Really – why do we fast on Yom Kippur? One reason is that we don’t ‘need’ physical nourishment – we are beyond that. Yom Kippur concludes and we have four days to make a very physical shelter, the Sukkah, where ideally we are to take meals and sleep for seven days. Nothing like a temporary shelter in Winnipeg in October to get in touch with one’s physical vulnerability!

A popular maxim says, “We are spiritual beings on a human journey.” Judaism also emphasizes that we are human beings on a spiritual journey. Neither one nor the other exclusively; our human and spiritual task is to bind the two, for neither is true by itself. When we are physically weakest (perhaps) after fasting, we are to ‘get out and build that Sukkah.’ And then, after experiencing our physical limitations and vulnerability with the Sukkah, we are to lift and dance and celebrate with the Torah.

Opposites that are not opposites; a balance of needs and ability; what a great way to start a new year!
Shabbat shalom!

The Canadian Jewish News – Rabbis at home in the Canadian Forces

The Canadian Jewish News,

By RON CSILLAG, Special to The CJN.

Of the various slogans the Canadian Forces have used to attract new recruits, one seems most apt for Canada’s two Jewish military chaplains: there’s no life like it.

Each day, Rabbi Lazer Danzinger of Toronto and Ottawa-based Rabbi Karen Soria cater to the spiritual and emotional needs of Canada’s men and women in uniform.

Philosophically, the two are poles apart: Rabbi Danzinger is a Chabadnik and Rabbi Soria is from the Reform tradition. But they agree that they have encountered some of their most interesting and satisfying work serving in the Forces.

In fact, Rabbi Danzinger, 54, has loved the experience so much that last summer he switched from the reserves and joined the regular forces for a six-year hitch.

Posted to Canadian Forces Base (CFB) Borden outside Barrie, Rabbi Danzinger is the Forces’ first full-time Jewish chaplain since World War II.

“Things are fantastic, so much so that I decided to transfer,” he told The CJN. “I’ve been very warmly received.”

(In 2007, Rabbi Chaim Mendelsohn of Ottawa became the Forces’ first Jewish chaplain since the end of World War II. A reservist captain, he was attached to 28 Field Ambulance in Ottawa. However, the Forces say Rabbi Mendelsohn has been “released” from duty and did not elaborate.)

To re-qualify for the regular force, Rabbi Danzinger, also a captain, underwent a rigorous seven-week course in drills, marching, fieldcraft and use of a gas mask – but no firearms training.

The Geneva Conventions, he points out, define chaplains as non-combatants and prohibit them from carrying or firing a weapon. “But we are trained in how to put a gun on safety.”

Born and raised in Toronto, Rabbi Danzinger attended Associated Hebrew Schools and the Community Hebrew Academy of Toronto before graduating from Ner Israel Yeshiva.

After 20 years in the computer business and service as a hospital and prison chaplain, he joined the Forces in 2008 originally attached to Army Reserves’ 25 (Toronto) Service Battalion.

“As a child of Holocaust survivors, I am especially appreciative of the rights and freedoms that Canada gives its citizens,” he said of his decision to join up. “To be able to live as a Jew freely without fear is something to be grateful for. So in gratitude, I want to give something back to this great country.”

At CFB Borden, he’s one of eight chaplains, including an imam. “I get along very well with him,” Rabbi Danzinger says. He’s assigned to base technical services, with about 1,000 personnel.

He’s encountered “not very many” Jews. “There are a few.” (The Forces do not reveal members’ religions).

The two rabbis are tasked with ministering to the spiritual needs of all Forces members, regardless of faith, including facilitating worship. But sometimes, Rabbi Danzinger is pleasantly surprised when a Forces member reveals he or she is Jewish. “They say, ‘I’m so happy to see you here.’ It makes them proud.”

The father of seven, two of them married, drives home to Toronto every Shabbat. There is no minyan on the base.

He would welcome a foreign posting, even to a war zone. “It would be a complete privilege to be deployed.”

Rabbi Danzinger pointed out that while Christian chaplains have access to supplies such as vestments, Bibles and the like, Jewish ones scramble for kippot and prayer books. But the Forces are slowly rectifying that. “They’re playing a little catch-up,” he said, “but they’re doing it.”

Rabbi Soria, a captain in her late 50s, also tallies some firsts. She’s the first female Jewish chaplain in the Canadian Forces; she was Australia’s first female rabbi, and she was the first female rabbi to serve with the United States Marines during a four-year tour in Okinawa. She spent 11 years as a U.S. Navy chaplain.

Chicago-born, she came to Canada in 2003 and joined the Reserves last year, assigned to 3 Canadian Forces Flying Training School in Portage La Prairie, Man. Last summer, she transferred to 33 Combat Engineer Regiment in Ottawa.

Comparing Canada to the United States, “I really do find a better fit with the Canadian Forces, and the reason is a philosophical one and a sense of the mission,” she told The CJN. “The Canadian Forces, in my experience, really sees itself as a peacekeeping [force], and that can include peace-making. The U.S. forces, in my experience, see themselves much more as war-fighting.”

She addressed that theme more pointedly a few years ago in an interview with Jewish Woman magazine: “I don’t believe either the military or the [U.S.] leadership has focused on the differences between making war and building peace. That’s come into sharp focus in Iraq.” She parted company with the U.S. military because of its “lack of treatment of human beings with dignity and respect no matter what their background, role and personal lives.”

Typical duties for both chaplains involve not only spiritual matters but counselling, whether over strained marriages, relationship or money issues, substance abuse or just the stress of armed service. Sometimes, it’s just lending a sympathetic ear, or as Rabbi Soria says, about “life stuff.”

Neither has encountered antisemitism in the Forces.

“When you put on a uniform, people know you’re part of a family,” said Rabbi Danzinger. “That’s a great ice-breaker.”

Said Rabbi Soria: “Being a rabbi is a non-issue. I have been welcomed with enthusiasm and interest.”

And it’s a part-time job: she “parades with” her unit one evening a week (meaning the unit meets and trains at that time; sometimes there is an actual parade) and goes in another evening a week for administrative work and to talk with other officers. She’s one of 27 female chaplains in the Forces.

Since 2008, the mother of four has been the spiritual leader of Temple Shalom in Winnipeg, where she travels every three or four weeks. As well, she teaches at Temple Israel in Ottawa and at Ottawa Modern Jewish School.

One sure sign of the acceptance, indeed of the success, of Jews in the Canadian Forces is seen in the small things.

Rabbi Danzinger boasts that the Forces chaplain general has welcomed the rabbi’s proposal for a kippah that conforms to CADPAT (CAnadian Disruptive PATtern) standards.

In other words, a camouflage kippah.

“It would be a tremendous morale boost,” he says.

What do you think? Ma khosh’vim?

What right do we have to personal information about others? Where is the line between public and private? Who decides?

Let me tell you about the moment when I realized that the media had (nearly) sucked me into thinking I had an intimate relationship with someone. (To be honest, what I really realized was how I had always been sucked in before and why that was wrong.)

It was through a scene on a television show, whose star was a high school classmate of mine. You see, I graduated high school with David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff. We worked together on The Fantastiks. But we didn’t socialize; I couldn’t even say we were friends. Knowing what our relationship was and was not, when the television camera moved in for those close up shots of his character’s face, I was taken aback. And I thought, “I have no business seeing him this close. I’m not this close to him!”

Where is the line between public and private? The movie and television cameras tell us we have intimate relationships with people we have never met and will never know. The tabloids titillate us with details of celebrities’ and politicians’ lives and homes, where we are strangers and which we will never enter. Often we expect public figures to be ‘perfect’ (whatever that means), and when they don’t for whatever reason – divorce, badly behaved children, adultery, messy hair and unfashionable outfit, etc. – the media is quick to condemn them. If each of us were expected to maintain appearances constantly, most of us would fail miserably.

But what about being a “role-model”? Do those of us who may be (or are) seen as role-models have an obligation to tell details of our private life because of others who may be (or are) discriminated against?

That question has been seriously raised following the death of Debbie Friedman, singer, songwriter, feminist, and – apparently, per the 18th paragraph in her NY Times obituary – lesbian. Voices have been raised condemning her for her sexuality, and voices have been raised condemning her for being private about her sexuality. For the former, her music is now ‘different’ because written by a lesbian. For the latter, her life work is now diminished because she didn’t ‘come out’ as a lesbian.

Is Stephen Hawking’s understanding of the universe less brilliant because he divorced his first wife? Is Percy Grainger’s music less beautiful because of his pedophilic writings? Is Debbie Friedman’s music less spiritual and Jewish because she loved a woman? Or ~ on the other hand ~ is anyone whom we admire a less admirable whatever because we don’t know about part of his or her ** (fill in the blank). In short, does the worth of someone’s life work depend on the personal information we know about him or her?

Debbie Friedman said, “People are more uptight talking about God, more uptight about God language and God concepts, than they are about sex.” That was from a conversation with Jonathan Mark, as reported in The Jewish Week, Jan 13.

What right do we have to personal information about a person? What does it matter? Ma khosh’vim ~ what do you think?